Love often makes us act like a complete fool, how could a single emotion cause this? Some say it is due to a connection or similarity, but some feel this way due to being comfortable with another human being. While falling in love can make us feel warm and fuzzy, it can have downsides as well. So, why do we keep falling in love?
Key Factor
There are many factors that contribute to falling in love. Sexual attraction, physical chemistry, and even shared interests can spark that initial fire, but the key factor is compatibility. This is an often misunderstood concept. Compatibility has nothing to o with attraction, but has all to do with the way people communicate and relate to one another.
Falling in love does not happen the moment we see someone, even though movies say otherwise. In order to truly fall in love, you have to take the time to truly get to know someone. You have to know them well enough to like them, though this does not mean you must know every little detail. This is often why the dating stage is also called a time of “getting to know each other”.
You will ultimately fall in love with the person that completes you in some way or in all ways. When something in their personality brings out the best in you and you do the same with them, then do not ignore what is happening. People want to inherently be with those who make them better. This is important because the honeymoon stage will eventually end. When it does, and problems start to arise, if you are in love you will not really notice or care about your partner’s shortcomings. This is because you have chosen to stay by their side. You will learn to accept the imperfections as who they are, just as they will do the same for you.
Two Processes
There are two main processes when it comes to falling in love. The first is to fall rapidly in love. This happens when we inadvertently reflect on others what we like in ourselves. This happens before we really know if this is true of the other person. This is common with things like generosity, kindness, intelligence, and even a good work ethic.
This allows us to immediately put the other person on a pedestal, considering them ideal. This provides security for both people and intense positivity. This leads to emotional and often sexual fireworks. Though an emotionally rich approach, it is not one that is well thought out. This tends to end quickly as frequent break-ups are common.
The other process is to slowly fall in love. This is the slow formation of mutual admiration that creates a true bond. You slowly discover that the other person has admirable qualities that can be held in the highest regard. This is a specific love for a person and cannot be transferred. This thoughtful approach does have some emotional components, but is more likely to endure.
Falling in Love with Part of Ourselves
Though it sounds odd, we fall in love with those who are both like us and total opposites. These individuals will call upon the deepest wishes we may have and fulfill what we may have feared acknowledging. They are complimentary and show us parts of ourselves that we were not aware even existed. They provide both solutions and riddles to our lives that require solving. These individuals will feel right, but somehow wrong, helping us to understand who we really are. We fall hardest in love with those that are an enigma to ourselves, but also a solution.
The truth comes down to the fact that love is a verb. Falling in love is exciting because we hope this person is “the one” and believing this feeling of bliss will last forever. Unfortunately, this feeling only lasts for two years max, with some feelings only sticking around for about 4 months. What people really want is a lifetime of love. This is less about finding ‘the one’ and more about taking continual action to demonstrate your love. This way you fall in love over and over again.
