Dealing with a Victim Mentality

Victim Mentality

A person that has a victim mentality is someone that has been victimized but is having a hard time getting past it. They have likely been abused or mistreated. There is a difference though between being a victim and using the fact that you were a victim to manipulate other people.

Those that have been victims in life have struggled and this is not something to ignore. Many of them have been abused physically or emotionally or they have been treated to the point where they were defenseless.

It takes a lot for a victim to heal and stop being a victim but becoming a survivor. The victim mentality is one way that people that have faced hard times protect themselves from the pain that they experienced. This can often cause them to make trauma bonds and to feel shameful of their past lives. If you are experiencing these things in your life, you need to heal.

Understanding Victim Mentality

Victim natality is something that people create in their mind, and they always put themselves as the one being abused. They do this even when they aren’t being mistreated. Many people that have this mentality automatically think that they are a victim depending on how someone in their life acts.

People with this mentality believe that everything that is hard in their lives is part of a betrayal or part of deception to abuse or hurt them.

It Happens Because of Everyone Else

Someone with a victim mentality has almost zero trust for others. They get offended easily and they are always blaming others for how they are feeling. They are someone that is depressed easily by listening to music and they become emotional or are impulsive. They sometimes put themselves in dangerous situations or they overshare what happened to them.

Everything that happens to them is because of something someone else is doing and never because of what is inside of them. They let all of the problems that they face be someone else’s cause.

What Causes Victim Mentality?

Victim mentality often happens when someone has experienced some kind of painful thing or trauma in their life. This person will reflect on what has happened and they will learn to cope by adopting this kind of mentality. The idea of being a victim becomes who they are.

Most people with this mentality are someone that has faced something hard possibly as a child or even as an adult. They have dealt with people that have made them voiceless or that have hurt them.

Why Can the Victim Mentality Be Good?

There are some good things that you can get from a victim mentality including:

  • When being the victim you don’t have to be responsible for your actions.
  • You can use your relationships in a manipulative way.
  • People will empathize with you.
  • People won’t be as hard on you as they normally would.
  • It can cause people to be kind when they are around you.
  • People check on you often.
  • It is easier to get people to see you as brave.
  • You get apologized to.
  • You have people that will come to you to help you.

What Do You Lose as a Victim?

There are things that you can lose when you have a victim mentality including:

  • Your good reputation.
  • Who you are.
  • Your own thoughts.
  • Healthy boundaries.
  • The way to create connections.
  • A chance to find real love.
  • The chance to find your true potential.
  • Respect that others can have for you.
  • Your strength.
  • The chance to be a hero.
  • The chance to love yourself unconditionally.

Signs of Having a Victim Mentality

Here are some ways that you can know that you have a victim mentality:

  • Trauma that has become who you are.
  • Trauma that you think only has happened to you.
  • You think you are perfect, and you are your worst enemy.
  • You feel that you will change when other people around you change.
  • You are out of control in your life.
  • You cannot control your relationships.
  • You sabotage yourself.
  • You have no tolerance when someone criticizes you.
  • You have a lot of triggers.
  • You think everyone is happier than you.
  • You think everyone is better than you.
  • Seeing the world good is almost impossible for you.
  • The worth you have is based on what you do.
  • You tell your own story.
  • Health issues are overlooked or over exaggerated.
  • You are a pathological liar.
  • Blaming others for who you are is normal.
  • When no one gives you sympathy you become a victim.
  • What was done to you is your outcome in life.

Overcoming the Victim Mentality

Here are some ways that you can stop having the victim mentality:

  • Admit that the things that you faced are who you have become.
  • Don’t judge yourself for being a victim.
  • When you want to blame others, ask how you contributed to the problem.
  • Know that life is not fair.
  • You had no control over what happened to you, but you have control over how you react.
  • When you are being negative, change your thoughts.
  • Say no when you want to.
  • Don’t try to get others to validate you.
  • Communicate openly.
  • Know that there are things that are inside of you that are your own behaviors.
  • Look at yourself as a survivor.

Dealing with Other Victim Mentality Ideas

When you see that someone is facing the idea that they are victims and only a victim, the best thing that you can do is to not give into them. Don’t let them steal your energies. If you are around someone that is always using you for your energy, stay away from them and set boundaries.

Boundaries are there so that you can have value in your life and that you can have limits. This will allow you to see people as survivors and not just victims. Make sure that you are keeping your peace and that you are living your life beyond what has happened to you.

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