Rules to Finding Love

Finding Love

If you are thinking about finding love, now is a great time to start. The list below will help you boost your chances at finding real love for your life.

  • Take the Right Approach – The old idea that you will find love when you are not looking may not be quite right. Instead, stop being afraid and put the effort in to finding love. This does not mean you should be desperate and act like anyone breathing will do, but do put in some effort.
  • Find Common Ground – You can skip the singles events if you do not enjoy them, but you do have to go places where you can meet people. Join social groups or hobby groups to do something you like and meet others that enjoy the same things. If you are willing, sign up for online dating sites or expand the ones you are on.
  • Look Up From Your Phone – There are good men and women everywhere if you are willing to look. People complain they cannot meet anyone, but then go out and refuse to put down the phone long enough to look around. Be present where you are, make eye contact, and smile as a way to invite others into conversation.
  • Don’t Seek Romance, Seek Partnership – Romance is for dating, but a partnership gets you through rough times. Do not focus on someone who sweeps you off your feet, look for someone who is all for give and take, who considers your opinion, and who cares about what you want.
  • Be Happy – One big issue to not finding love is that you do not feel good about yourself. Like yourself and your life. You need to be the type of person you would want to meet. If you are depressed, seek professional help, but work on yourself first then seek love.
  • Take Time to Yourself – If you have had a recent divorce or break-up, take some time to be alone. Once you have had some time to heal and rediscover yourself, you will be in better shape to meet the right person. There is no reason to repeat the same mistakes.
  • Instant Attraction Fades – Instant sexual attraction fades quickly. Good love is more of a slow burn that will take a while to develop, but also last much longer. Attraction is important, but it does not have to be felt right away. Lust is about sex, but not the stuff of real relationships. Emotion can change and deepen if it is given a fair shot.
  • Beware of the Opposites Attract Theory – Opposites may attract at first, but there will be friction down the road. Finding someone who is like-minded will make things easier, and healthier, in the long run.
  • Become a Psychotic Optimist – This means you need to believe that you are going to find love no matter what and that love is meant for you. It may take time and lots of dates, but you have to believe you find love. You have to embrace the process of dating, getting to know others, not sleeping with them, so you can find real love.
  • Understand Your Needs – Whatever your style may be, know it well and be able to communicate it. You can learn to love each other in the right ways if you both know what you need.
  • Know the Difference between Fooling Around and Building a Relationship – If you want to have safe sex that is fine, but before you bring someone into your life, share money, and a living space, remember they are bringing baggage too. Get to know them well first.
  • Stop Pining for the Unavailable – Holding onto somebody who is not interested or available is harmful, so just move on. Love is possible, do not give up.

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