What to Do Before Leaving Your Spouse

Leaving Your Spouse

Do you feel that you need to separate from your spouse? If you are having these thoughts, you need to make sure that you have thought things through in every way. There are things that you need to question yourself about before you decide to make the move of leaving your partner. If you consider these things, it can help to lessen the stresses that you might feel along the way.

Is This Temporary?

The very first thing to think about is if you are separating for the long run or if you just want a temporary separation. If you have finally decided that now is the time to go, you need to make sure that you are making the right decision for you.

No matter what reason you have, this kind of separation can be hard, and this is one that happens in a state of confusion and hurt. It is important to find someone that you can talk to before you make this change in your life.

Do You Want to Make Things Better?

Just because you separate from your partner doesn’t mean that you are finished with each other. Many people will take a temporary separation so that they can have time apart to see if they can work things out or not.

Once you do the separation, you may decide to get a divorce, but it is important that you take time in the separation before you get a divorce to make sure that is what you want.

Living Arrangements

There is much more to think about than just being apart and it can be very confusing and hard. The first thing you need to know is where you are going to live when you leave your spouse.

Can you afford to rent a home or to pay the utilities? How will your partner contribute, if at all? There are so many things to consider.

Sometimes a couple that is separated can be considered as living together, depending on the laws of your state.

What About the Kids?

Sometimes when people are married and considering separation, there are children that are involved, and it can make the situation even harder.

You need to have discussions with your spouse about where the kids are going to go and who they are going to live with once the separation takes place. Who is going to take them to school and who will take them and pick them up from the activities that they are in?

If you are moving and taking the kids, it is important to try to find a place to live that is close to the school that they are going to at the present time. This allows your children to not be uprooted and helps with you and your spouse driving the kids back and forth. It allows their life to be more regular.

You need to make sure that you and your spouse have this agreement made before either of you move out of the home.

How Will Your Kids Lives Change?

You need to always consider the children when getting a separation because you want to make sure not to upset them as much as possible.

There will need to be new efforts made to make sure that they are not taken from their school and that they can be close to their friends and activities that they are involved in.

How will this new routine affect your kids and how will it affect your life with picking and dropping them off? You need to make sure that you are considering the physical and emotional changes that your children will have to make.


When people separate it can cause the finances to be out of control. This has to be handled before you even leave so that you do not get yourself in a mess.

Find someone that can give you financial advice before you leave. If you share things like bank accounts or loans, you will need to separate the finances to make sure things are covered. There will be many different things that you need to cover such as insurance for the children and yourself.

Whatever decisions are made will be mutual or you may need to hire someone to help make these decisions.

Can You Support Yourself?

One of the many reasons that people choose not to separate is because of finances. Are you going to be able to support yourself and your children when you separate?

What are the things that you will have to give up? Will you have to work longer hours in order to have the finances that you need to make it?


Making sure that you have people in your life to support you is an important thing. Find family and friends that can be there to help you when you need it.

When Should You Find Legal Advice?

Just like with anything else, getting a separation can be very emotional and trying. You may need to find someone that can give you legal advice before you make any kind of move.

Make sure that you are finding a family lawyer that you can trust so that you can know what to do when it comes to your children, finances and even your divorce, if it comes to that.

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