Having your heart broken is almost impossible to endure. Even if you are a naturally positive person, heartbreak can leave you feeling hopeless about love in the future.
Is Love Possible Following Heartbreak?
If you have recently had a heartbreak and feel that life is ending, the good news is that you will find love once again. However, the next time you love will likely be different from the time that caused heartbreak. Your past experiences will change you and this will change your future love life.
When you start to shift the way in which you view heartbreak, you can love again. Instead of fearing or avoiding the feelings of heartbreak, remember that it does good things like make us stronger and more courageous. If you are feeling heartbreak then you have also felt a strong love over a period of time. There are people in life that are too closed off to feel love intensely so they will never feel heartbreak, but this is actually sad. Do not let yourself suffer heartbreak and then close off so that you never experience love again.
It takes time to recover from lost love and heartbreak. You will go through a range of emotions that may include anger, sadness, and even confusion. Be patient with these feelings and allow yourself to process them fully before letting go. Keep in mind that you are someone who loves deeply and you should not be afraid to do so again in the future. It takes bravery to love like this, more so after a heartbreak, but you can do so if you try.
Sadly, there is no way to love and still safeguard yourself from heartbreak, but with each new heartbreak comes strength. You can love again unless you let fear keep you from opening up to others.
Getting Over Heartbreak
There is no quick fix to heartbreak, but with time, you can heal. While everyone sets their own pace for healing, there are a few techniques and tricks to move along the pain and transition to being able to love again.
Support System
Being self-reliant is a great skill to have, but when you have a broken heart, you need a support system. During a time of broken heartedness, lean on your personal support system or start building one to help you get through. Each person’s support system will be different. While some rely on friends only, others lean on family or a combination of both. Regardless of who comprises your support system, make sure you can text, call, or meet with these people as needed when the heartbreak is too much to bear.
These individuals can keep you from making the mistake of heading back to your ex and keep you sidetracked when you are tempted. They can also keep you on track with healing instead of slipping back into pity alone. It is always best to have several people in your support system so one person does not get overburdened. Be up front with what you need and want from these individuals as you move forward so they know what is desired. Those closest to you will be happy to help.
It may also be a good idea to get professional mental help. A counselor can be found locally or online to help you process what has happened. This individual can be invaluable as part of your support system and is trained to give advice and guidance. If the online option is available, the therapist can be contacted almost anytime instead of waiting for a weekly appointment. A therapist can be a welcomed addition even with a strong support system of others.
Journal
Journaling can allow you to write about feelings, thoughts, and emotions that cannot be expressed in other ways. Journaling has been proven to help those with depression and anxiety, but can also help with heartbreak so you can open yourself up to love again. Expressive writing is a way to get strong emotions out and as you see your thoughts and feelings written out, you can gain perspective. This is a valuable tool.
If you feel like it, write a letter to your ex and express everything you can about the breakup and the relationship in general. This can include positives and negatives, serving as a form of closure. This is not a letter you have to send; it is just a way to get the emotions out. This will free you to love again.
Positive Thinking
Positive thinking really does make a difference. The way we talk to ourselves or even think about ourselves has an impact on our emotions. When recovering from a break-up, the more positive emotions you can bring out, the faster you will heal. Think about or write out hopes and dreams for your future as you focus on what good is to come.
Choosing a mantra can aid in healing as well. Choose one that speaks to you and keep focused on the goals you set. This will keep you positive and moving in the right direction. The mantra can be as simple as “I am a survivor”, “This too shall pass”, or even “Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all” to help you through. If your first choice is not inspiring, choose another and make it part of your daily routine. It is about how the mantra makes you feel, not really what you choose. You are preparing to love again.
Get Active
Healing from a heartbreak is slowed down if you sit at home and dwell on what was lost. Instead, get active through cleansing activities such as meditation, yoga, or exercise. Meditation and yoga are focused on breathing that can reduce tension and anxiety, even when heartbroken. Exercise in general can also help reduce tension as you work muscles and push your body. Keeping your body moving and focused on anything other than the lost relationship in healthy ways is best.
Exercise further causes an endorphin release that can boost mood and improve sleep. The confidence boost you receive from working your body and getting toned can also make you more prepared to seek out a new relationship.
Time
Though you may be eager to get back into the dating game, give yourself time after a breakup so when you do start dating it is for a relationship, not companionship. Allow yourself time to put down the emotional baggage of the past before trying to create a future with someone new. Trying to date before you are really ready can lead to further discouragement because you are not ready to open your heart again. One study suggests 11 weeks or three months before entering a new relationship. This is an average healing time for those who are heartbroken.
Get Busy
After you have allowed plenty of time to heal, get out there and meet new people. Find a new hobby or interest to try so you can meet new people while getting comfortable with the idea of dating someone new. Love will come again if you do not give up. Remember, no one is hopeless forever if they do not want to be, process your heartbreak and then try again.
