This doesn’t happen very often, but believe it or not, some people do indeed go through life in fear of ever having a relationship with anyone. There must have been an incident or issue in the past that happened to them that made them feel less secure and intolerable of any kind of new relationship.
Going through life like this actually allows any person to miss great opportunities that they could have experienced. Living with regret can be the cause of having to deal with anyone new that may ever have he chance of entering in their lives.
I have had friends who would rather date people than to be tied down to anyone in particular. And this kind of behavior has lasted over a decade. The freedom that one has when they are single is a unique experience to decipher. I personally have always been with a woman committed to a relationship that has had it’s ups and downs like anyone else.
But does someone really want to spend the rest of their life chasing members of the opposite sex instead of committing to a relationship for a longer period of time. The fear that is created in maintaining a relationship can be very challenging for some people. The emotional roller coaster rides that are involved when when meeting people and staying with them can be overwhelming for the most part.
Not knowing how to deal with the people or others can make anyone stay single and just enjoy parts of that person instead of dealing with the whole aspect of them. This is where people most often play it safe. They don’t want kids or any kind of emotional attachment to anyone because it makes them feel safer and less risky.
But, I tell you now that life is a risk in itself, and risk always comes with great rewards if you are capable to achieve them. This goes true for relationships as well. There is a point in life where you have to ask yourself if you want to really experience and evolve yourself with someone or just let the rest of your life play out by itself without your control of it. The decision is always yours, of course.
When it comes to relationships, I like to be a risk taker and dive right in. In my marriage I have the pleasure of experience and raising my twins from my second wife. My first one of five years did not work out so well. I have been with my second wife now for almost ten years. And although it is easy to have a relationship, the challenging part is to maintain it each and every day. There are always compromises to be paid and sacrifices as well. What are these sacrifices?
Sometimes you have to go experience the feeling of non-affection, withdrawal in attention and anything else that you may not be comfortable in. Although the trust factor may still be there and you do indeed love each other, sometimes you will have to go without them unless you communicate to your partner your needs and desires. Even though, that may not still be good enough. So, are you going to be willing to maintain and continue it? There is always the option of living alone for the rest of your life. Unless you make the choice to leave.
In either case, I bring up these perspectives because they happen in a relationship and sometimes inexperienced people may or may not know or understand how to handle these certain aspects of a union. The negative feelings involved may be too uncomfortable for them to tolerate or experience.
Love in any relationship requires the daily discipline of attention and affection for each other. If these needs are not met, then you could witness firsthand, the similar effects of a plant when it is not watered as needed. The importance to communicate this is important. Sometimes it works to do this and on other times it does not.
That is the gamble that you play in the game of life when it comes to relationships. You either stay in for the long haul and work it out or get out of it. I believe that any relationship can grow and evolve as it should with a little work.
You can say that a loving relationship is like a pearl inside that of a clam. Life’s waves may indeed challenge it when times are tough. The important thing to remember that when a relationship lasts, in spite of life throwing curve balls at it, you produce a pearl in the end. And that is what makes life so special to experience with someone else. You can grow with them and they can challenge you to hell and back. But there will always be another day and a newer challenge to produce an even finer pearl than ever before.
So, don’t ever have fear when it comes to jumping into any kind of relationship. The more experienced you are in the game of life, the quicker you will be able to evolve as a human being and adjust accordingly. I have ceretainly had my share of the good and the bad in my marriage, but a lot has came out of it to produce myself and my family many wonderful things that I can’t wait to see first hand. Like for example, the the maturity of my twins and the ever loving expression that me and my wife are so capable of achieving together.
You never know what you are going to get out of life in the first place. Taking the jump of knowing love first hand will help you change your mindset of whatever may have happened to you in the past of having fear of any kind of loving relationship, that you are so capable of having.
Fear is what is holding humanity back in experiencing the very best out of life. When it comes to loving another person, don’t let the past, that has come and gone, direct any future decisions that you may or may not have concerning the most wonderful feelings of romance, love, challenges and awesome memories.
