Moving beyond the dating stage and into the relationship stage can be both the best and worst part of your life. This all depends on how you move forward. Save yourself some time and turmoil by following these tips to avoiding common relationship mistakes.
Hold onto Romance
When the dating moves to relationship status, you are likely comfortable with one another. It is easy to stop making an effort and become complacent. We need to remember that relationships require work, though often fun, so effort is needed. Take time to be romantic with and toward your partner.
Do Not Try to Control
Even in committed relationships we often try to take control, especially when our partner has annoying habits. Trying to control every aspect of your partner will quickly end the relationship. Assuming you are dating an adult, treat them as one and let them make their own choices.
Expecting Perfection
Everyone makes mistakes and we must accept this within a relationship context. Avoid holding your partner to unrealistic standards because this will drive them away. This can be especially hard for those who are perfectionists in their own lives.
Do Not Avoid Confrontation
While no one wants to spend their time with a loved one fighting, sometimes it is necessary. It can be tempting to sweep all of our problems under the rug to keep things good, but the problems will gather and grow. This always ends up in a huge explosive argument or a total separation. If you leave things unsaid, especially those things that could have been corrected, you may break up and not be sure why. Communication is key in every relationship and should be practiced throughout.
Avoid Making Everything an Argument
Though communication is important, you do not want to go to the other extreme and fight all the time. When a problem arises, if it is something you can live with, overlook it. If not, have a calm, cool discussion.
Forcing Change
When we enter a relationship, it is with another person. A person who has quirks, feelings, and opinions that are different from our own. Many times, opposites attract the strongest. Once we are with someone for a while, we may want to try to change them to make them more like ourselves, but this can ruin a relationship. Step back and remember why you like this person in the first place and focus on what you love.
Keeping Secrets
Along with open and honest communication comes sharing secrets. If you are with someone you truly care about, there is no need to keep secrets. While you do not need to share every little aspect of your life, share the important things or guilt will eat you alive. Secrets always come out, better to share them now.
Do Not Become Co-Dependent
When you are in love it is hard to be separated from your one and only, but you should never lose your individuality. Learn to take time for yourself, hang out with your friends alone, or simply run errands while your significant other does their own thing. You will both benefit from having time apart and being your own person.
Differences
Often, we only know surface information when we start dating, but as we get closer to someone, we learn their core values. As the relationship grows, it may become problematic that your values, morals, or religion do not match up. Before moving forward, discuss these issues and see if you wish to move forward. Knowing ahead of time will save great disappointment later.
Discuss Money
Money is a touchy subject for every couple. Perhaps you come from different backgrounds that treat money in totally opposite ways. This can lead to disagreements about how or if money should be spent. If the relationship is serious, make sure to discuss money, even with separate accounts. This will eventually come up when or if things go long-term.
Appreciate Your Partner
While it seems obvious, make sure you are taking time to show your partner you appreciate them. Early on in relationships we are often praising even the smallest acts of kindness, but as time passes, we take them for granted. Tell your significant other how you feel at least once a day or more without going overboard so it becomes meaningless.
Using these common mistakes as a “what not to do” guide you can survive as a couple and possibly move into something much more.
