Do you feel bored with your partner and all you seem to do is fight? Do you feel that you are always alone? Chances are if you are going through this in your relationship that you and your partner might feel the same things. If you want to have a better relationship, you need to know that this can happen.
Staying Together
You might wonder what you can do to make you and your partner get along with each other. Partners can have success in their relationship if they:
- Think good thoughts about each other.
- Think about each other when they aren’t together.
- Be affectionate.
- Try new activities together.
- Be happy in their own lives and with each other.
- Have sex.
All relationships go through rough times here and there and even tough you are more than just a relationship, you can learn to bring the spark back into your relationship. If you find that you are constantly arguing or you don’t want to even have sex anymore, there are some things that you can do to fix this.
There is nothing wrong with having a loss of passion here and there and you need to learn that there has to be a balance between life and being intimate with your partner. Your partner might be unhealthy or sick right now or they might have to travel a lot that is causing you to have to spend time apart. No matter what the reason is, it is important to keep working towards better days when things get hard.
Feeling Bored
If you feel bored in your relationship it can seem that all the goodness is gone. Here are some ways that you can get past this!
- Do New Things Together
Find fun activities that you can both do together and can enjoy. This can help you to make new memories and allow you to do new things in the process. Go on a mini-vacation to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go or take a cooking class together.
Do silly things and think about all the fun times that you’ve had together. You don’t even have to leave your house to do new things. Try cooking naked or playing hide and seek together. Doing these things can make you laugh and have fun.
Think about the beginning of your dating experience and go back to some of the places you visited when you first fell in love.
- Make a Bucket List
Sit down together and make a bucket list of things that you want to do. Not everything has to be exciting and wild. You can even do things that are boring if it makes you both happy.
Cook dinner together, read a book together or even go to the gym together. Find a few things to put on your list and then try to do at least one a month. Setting goals and having a bucket list can help you to grow together.
- Get Rid of Phone and Television in the Bedroom
Put the television and the phones out of the bedroom. You can snuggle and watch tv together in your living room but have a place in your home where you don’t bring the screen. This allows you to give each other full attention.
When we are on our phones, we are often just mindlessly scrolling and not doing anything important. Instead, take time to find out about your partners day and what they have done since you were gone.
- Date Again
Try to go out on mini-dates or have them in your home. If you don’t have time to go on an actual date, take time before work to eat breakfast together or set a time where you can talk to each other for 15 minutes a day without being distracted.
How to Stop Fighting
If you feel that you are constantly fighting and arguing, here’s what to do!
- Talk About Your Needs
Take time to talk to each other about what you both need. Without communication there can be resentment and grudges. Not everything is going to be about sex but make sure that when you are talking that you are also listening, and you are not allowing the conversation to become an argument.
- What Do You Like?
It can be hard to forget what you like about your partner when you’ve been together for so long. Express your appreciation for your partner and tell them what you like about them. Doing this can stop the arguing and can allow you to repair your relationship.
Sit down and make a list of the things that you like about your partner and about yourself and your relationship. Appreciate each other for who you are and always come back to the positive.
- Go to the Gym Together
You can go to the gym together or workout together right at home. This makes you feel good in your body, and it allows you to have open communication.
- Talk About Problems
Talk about your problems with a therapist. You can do this so that you can understand what is going on in your relationship.
- Share the Chores
If you are a couple that lives together, make sure that you are doing your part. Don’t expect your partner to do all of the chores. Be useful and make sure that you are pulling your weight. By sharing the chores, it takes away the chances of arguing and it also allows you to help your partner to be more successful in their life.
Even if you don’t know how to do certain chores, learn these things together.
- When Things Happen, Forgive
When you get into an argument or a disagreement, learn to forgive each other. This can create positive emotions and can help the relationship to be better. Solving conflict isn’t nearly as important as being kind to each other.
Of course, arguments will happen, and you won’t always agree with each other but when you don’t, forgive each other and this can make you happier.
Lack of Sex
When you aren’t getting the sex you want, here’s what to do:
- Go Online
Get online and find ways that you can explore yours and your partners sexuality. Learn about their boundaries. Watch porn if your partner agrees with it and you can improve your intimacy in the bedroom.
If your partner doesn’t like porn, try to do new things in the bedroom. Explore sexy things that you can do together that you both would like.
- Make a Fantasy List
Write down things that you would like and the fantasies that you would like to try with your partner. If you want to make it a game, put these in a hat and then take turns picking out of the jar and trying new things.
- Schedule the Sex
If you aren’t just able to get sex when you want it from your partner, pencil it in your schedule. Having spontaneous sex can be great but if you need to, make a plan for sex.
When you’re busy, having sex can be hard and it can be hard to have intimacy in your relationship. You know your partner’s body and you can bring them to orgasm even if the sex is planned.
- Sext Each Other
When you aren’t with your partner, send them sexy pictures and talk about sex. They will want to be with you fast and you will get them hot and bothered to the point that they are really missing you. Talk dirty to each other.
- Try New Things
Try new things such as having sex in places that you’ve never done it before or by making the sex last longer. Figure out what turns your partner on and do it.
- Touch Each Other
Sex doesn’t have to be the only thing that brings intimacy. Try to hug each other, kiss, massage and do what shows affection. You might think that you just want sex but in reality, you really want to be close to your partner.
When Life Seems Hard
When your relationship and life seems hard, here are some things that you can do to get things back together:
- Find Help
Talk to someone outside of your home like a friend or a therapist that you can trust. Find someone that you can take your partner with to start repairing the relationship.
- Walk Away
Sometimes you might have to walk away. Some relationships aren’t worth saving and not everyone is going to be compatible with each other. If you aren’t or if there is any kind of abuse in the relationship, walk away because you deserve more.
- Be Your Best
Work on yourself and make sure that you are the best person that you can be. Do things that make you happy even if you’re alone. Find friends that you can rely on and do things that bring positivity into your life and make you happy.
Final Thoughts
Relationships can be hard but if you learn to go slow you can do things that can make your relationships stronger. Communicate your needs and learn to appreciate each other and show patience when necessary.
You don’t have to stay in relationships where you aren’t happy, and you should be with people that bring peace and not burden into your life. Not all situations are enough to make you leave your relationship, sometimes they are just a sign that change needs to happen.
